Around this time last year, December 12th, 2010, around 8:00 PM, I asked you out through a silly text message. I can still remember where I was, where I was sitting down. I was in my room, actually my walk-in closet, doing my history homework. I remember it was only to take notes on a chapter, I think it was on the American Revolution. I remember you texting me saying how your really good friend, approves of me after I said how much I cared about you. Skip ahead a few minutes, and here I was contemplating weather to wait until the next day to ask you out in person, or do it right then and there. I knew how anxious I was, and I couldn’t resist. I brung up the story of how you were the princess of Fairtytopia, and I asked you if I could be your prince. Call me cheesy if you want, but it was the most beautiful thing I have ever said.
We’ve been through so much, haven’t we, darling? This whole year. Everything that’s happened this year, it’s been insane. I’ve learned a lot about myself, and I’m sure you’ve learned as much as me. I saw you today, and I knew you were behind me walking down the hall. I just somehow knew you were behind me. I felt as if the whole world was staring at me, perhaps because your eyes were beaming directly towards the back of my head. I wanted to turn around and face you. Face the demon inside and pull it from you. But I was to scared. I’m sorry hun.
I was sitting with the girl that I could have went out with instead of you after practice today. When she began to talk about her boyfriend who now goes to college in a different country, it made me wonder how this past year could have been had I went through and gone out with her instead. What if I ignored my feelings and my brain, and asked her out instead? Would the outcome be different? Would I have these same feelings that I do with you, with her instead? I may never know.
With the new year coming, perhaps it’s a new beginning. A “New Horizon” perhaps. I was about to type how I just want to be there for you. But I’m tired of it. I’m tired of all of this. I want to move on, perhaps I’m just to afraid to.
You guys can follow me if you want, it’s no big deal or anything :p
